just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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