i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
