i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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