Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
