What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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