i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
