have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
