his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
