its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I could fuck to npr.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
