We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
