When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
