I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he fucked my hip out of place.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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