Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
there was a trapeze. enough said
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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