i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
