he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
