We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
