she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
