Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
