accomplished twins. life is a go
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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