You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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