i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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