Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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