You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We got so high we made milksteak
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't deserve a penis
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
