The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
