I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
