I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
