just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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