He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
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I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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