you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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