just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
