and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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