Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
