He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
now i know why i became what i already was.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
