everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
