he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
