$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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