I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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