i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
