dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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