found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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