There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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