I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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