Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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