i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
