be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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