Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
