I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Shame - the story of my life.
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