he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
