you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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