He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
