I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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