he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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