I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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