And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
