I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
