It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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