You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
