I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
