i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
