I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
