god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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