2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
