I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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