Can Purell be used as lube?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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