Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
