either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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